The Wreck

So here it is. Here is the story of how I shattered my femur into a million little pieces (actually like 5 pieces). The story you've all been waiting for!!

It all started with a simple trail ride in the Eagle foothills. A well known trail that's ridden often. I was with my barn owner, a friend of the barn, and my best friend, Jannae. I was riding the Pancho (who was throughly confused why there were no cross-country jumps in sight) and everything was going great and we were all having an absolute blast together.

Right after this super fun gallop session we all had we came to this nice clearing with a bunch of tires lined up (finally x-country looking things!). Of course, being an eventer and being with my superstar eventing horse I had to jump the tires. It was great, my pony rocks and we had a ton of fun playing around. I'm walking around these cement blocks to go jump them again when I paused momentarily to tell Jannae something. I have no idea what it was now but that slight pause I did was a horrible mistake. Jannae was borrowing a friends horse who ended up being a friesian stallion. None of us are idiots so we were all keeping our distance. I was probably 20 feet from the stallion when I stopped and next thing I know this stallion is right next to me trying to establish dominance on my gelding. I still can't figure out how this stallion covered that ground so fast. My trusty steed Pancho saw this coming and was like "oh hell no, we're getting outta here!". This would have all been fine considering Pancho is an ex-racehorse and is pretty dang fast and I trust him with my life but unfortunately, we were trapped between a stallions front feet coming at us from above and a snow barrier that looked like this one.

Snow Barrier

This was the point where I knew we were in serious trouble. The next part is kinda a blur for me, I think my brain shut it out of my memory so I don't have to relive the moment over and over like I do with the rest of this accident. I'm not sure if the stallion knocked me off and then pinned my leg on the cement or if both horses came down on me but all I know is I landed on the cement snow barrier and slid down into the space between it and another barrier with my right leg twisted severely to the left. To be honest, as I was hitting the cement time slowed down for me and all I could think was "I just broke my neck".

When I finally realized what had happened I had to find Pancho. I had to know if he was okay. I had no idea what kind of impact he had taken in the fall. I thought for sure he had broken his leg on the cement block but when I looked up he was galloping away into the hills with my barn owner chasing after him!!

Barn owner Steve always there to help.

At that point I tried to get up to go get my horse and I couldn't move my legs. I put my head back down on the dirt and I prayed. I have never felt God more present in my life than in the moment after my prayers when the rush of excruciating pain hit my leg. As much as it hurt I was so thankful that I could feel my legs because that meant that I wasn't paralyzed. In that moment I didn't care what was wrong with me, I knew I would make it through and I knew I would ride again.

This is when the shock sank in!! How fun! My thigh was about twice the size as normal and I felt the most pain just below my hip so in my mind I fully convinced myself that I had just dislocated my hip and I just needed someone to pop it back in and I would be good to go! That was the only was I was able to slightly hold it together and not pass out. We were about 30 minutes into our ride when the accident happened so barn owner Steve grabbed Pancho and took off for help. With no reception he had to take his horse and Pancho back to the trailers before he could call for an ambulance. So I was left with Jannae, an 18 year old kid to look over me.

I took one look at her face and thought for sure she was going to pass out or cry or something but she pulled it together and started asking me questions to check for a head injury while holding my hand and putting a slight amount of pressure on my leg to help ease the muscle spasms. It ended up being (I think) around 40 minutes before the ambulance found me which doesn't sound that long but let me tell you, each and every minute of that felt like hours to me. I'm pretty sure I asked Jannae every 30 seconds if she could see them yet. The pain I felt was blinding. It was so intense that it's incredible that I didn't pass out. My whole body was shaking violently but every few minutes everything would relax - no shaking, no muscle spasms - and I would close my eyes and weigh the pros and cons of just giving in and falling out of consciousness. I'm pretty sure every time my body went limp like this Jannae thought I was dying because she kept making me open my eyes.

This was the first time in my life that I genuinely thought I was going to die. I thought I was going to lay in the foothills and die. As the time passed and still no ambulance had arrived I started to lose it. The rush of adrenaline and shock was wearing off and I was in so much pain. I was trying not to scream so we decided to listen to disney music? Not sure how that was thought of but it helped and I sang along to disney music (or screamed in tune, not sure) until the ambulance arrived. I remember being told they could see the ambulance and every ounce of strength in me washed away. I remember crying, screaming and laughing all at the same time because I was so happy that help had arrived. Little did I know that was just the beginning of what was to come.

I'm not really sure how many people were there but there were a ton of them. First an atv showed up and they began to asses the situation. Then several fire trucks, a few emergency vehicles, and an ambulance. They were all talking at the same time and asking me questions and poking me with needles and all I cared about was how Pancho was going to get home. I had bought a pair of brand spankin new Piper breeches and this trail ride was the very first time I had ridden in them so of course they had to cut a huge hole in them where my hip was (even after yelling about them and forcing Jannae to promise me she wouldn't let them cut them)(but I have a mom who is great with a sewing machine so I thought it would be okay).

 Once I was stabilized and had some pain meds pumped into me it was time to get me into the ambulance. The big problem here was that I was folded like a pretzel in a foot of space in between two cement barriers. They tried to unfold my leg but that wasn't really an option so they had to drag me out. I couldn't figure out why they couldn't just pop my hip back into the socket already!! I clamped my teeth down and they pulled me out and scooped me up in a scoop stretcher - dirt and sticks and rocks along with me. Then we drove about 5 miles an hour on the super bumpy dirt road because the bumping of my leg was too painful to go any faster, even with the max amount of pain meds (sorry ambulance driver that I was screaming). Jannae rode with me in the ambulance but wasn't allowed in the back with me so I kept yelling to make sure she was still there. The paramedic taking care of me was super nice, I think he had two kids or something I don't know - can't really remember.

The paramedics asked me what hospital I wanted to go to which I thought was super dumb because I thought the answer was clear, the closest one!! (That ended up not being the best choice because the hospital I was taken to wasn't equipped for an orthopedic surgery as extensive as mine and I had to be transferred). I was moved from stretcher to bed to CT-Scan table back to bed to an X-Ray table back to bed. Each time I was moved I couldn't contain the scream that came from my mouth even though I tried. I really didn't want to be that person in the hospital screaming but I honestly couldn't stand the pain. Also this was when they finally cut my new piper breeches all the way off and I was so upset I cried harder over that than anything else so far. (Jannae bought me a new pair though so she's awesome)

I still just assumed my hip was dislocated and thought I would be walking out fine once they popped it back in so I didn't want to call my family. The CT-Scan came back and the doctor came in the room just apologizing and shaking his head and telling me we needed to do X-Rays so I finally called my mom. Take note that my mom was in Colorado taking care of business there and my dad was here in Idaho. I just called her to ask if I should tell my dad lol! My poor dad doesn't do well when his kids are in pain so I didn't want to put him through having to watch them pop it back in. I finally called my dad and he rushed to the hospital to be by my side just in time for the doctor to bring me my X-Rays. That's when the doctor said it was very sever Subtrochanteric? fracture with 5 fractures of my femur bone including one that split the bone half way down my leg and I needed to be transferred to an orthopedic surgeon right away.

So into another ambulance we went! (Jannae got to ride with me in the back this time and I was so drugged that I pretty much just gave this poor 20 year old kid who was my paramedic a bunch of crap the whole time). We arrived at another hospital and had some more fun! First order of business, peeing. Yeah, I know gross. They wanted to put a catheter in and I was definitely NOT about that. I decided to pee in a bedpan instead. Let me tell you, that was a horrible decision because it was extremely painful to have my lower body lifted up and then I had to try and pee (ever tried peeing laying down while in immense amounts of pain because it's not easy) (I kept thinking waterfalls and rivers and streams and oceans!!). And then on top of that they put a catheter in anyways so... just go with the catheter people, trust me. 

I was scheduled for surgery in a few hours so they had to set my leg and put it in traction for the night. The doctors asked my dad to step outside (not of the room, of the ambulance bay - outside) so he couldn't hear me because they knew it would be really bad. They set my leg and it's just like how it is in the movies. I never thought a noise like that could come from me. Apparently even my poor dad heard it outside and it traumatized him too! Then they put me in traction. They basically strapped a weight to my lower leg and hung it off the end of the bed so my leg was forced down straight instead of being folded up on the left side like it had been for the last several hours. Then I went to surgery! My dad was as solid as a rock, it was amazing! I can't imagine how hard that must have been for him. Doctors prepped me and I had about a million people come talk to me about what was happening and all I care about was that I had a cone head and then I was out like a light. 

When I woke up I found out that my mom and my sister had packed up and drove all the way from Colorado straight to my hospital room over night and while I was in surgery. My whole family was there when I woke up, I was so happy to see them all, especially since 12 hours earlier I thought I'd never see them again. 

They originally told me it was either going to be a plate and screws or a titanium rod pounded into my femur bone and they ended up having to do both. 

I don't remember much about the week I spend in the hospital aside from a few key things. 

First - Kate and Jannae took turns sleeping in my hospital bed with me because I didn't want to be alone. And when my leg hurt too bad for them to be with me in bed they pulled up this super uncomfortable chair thing next to my bed so I could still hold onto them if I needed. They both also helped me wash my face and brush my teeth and such. They were the real MVPs for taking care of me along with my mommy who was there the whole time as well. 

Second - Learning to walk with a walker was a bitch! (excuse my french). Also learning how to use the bathroom was horrible. I used this little portable potty for the first few days and had to have a whole lot of help from nurses so basically I now hove a whole ton of respect for anyone in the health care field. It takes a certain type of person to wipe another persons butt... just saying. So thank you to every nurse out there! 

Third - bandage changes as about as much fun as you'd think they are. 

I had 55 staples yay!... Then 6 days after surgery, I got to go home. These are a couple pictures of my leg over the next two weeks until I got my staples out. 

And then I finally got my staples out!! Graduated to butterfly stitches. 

Here is what my incisions and X-Rays currently look like 

So there it is. That's how I shattered my femur. 0 out of 10 I DO NOT RECOMMEND. Would not date. Abort mission. Turn back now! I will add blog posts as I make progress of my rode to recovery.